I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize