vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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