I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
