The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
