Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
