that's an acceptable place to lick
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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