Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
