all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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