Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
