Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
