11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
