Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
