Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
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i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
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It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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