I faked an abortion last night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
