you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize