weddingsv make me drug and hornr
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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