So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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