My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
did i just pee glitter
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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