Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
