I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize