i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
