I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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