come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
