you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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