I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
