my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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