Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
