so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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