quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
