Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
