Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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