DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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