On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
