how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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