I wish I could punch you in the face.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
