it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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