yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
