Dude my mom stole all your condoms
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
