Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I need a beard to bite.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize