I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
