Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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