We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
