When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
