I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
