everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
