Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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