I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My ass is underappreciated
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
