just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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