After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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