C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
