I'd wear matching sweaters with you
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
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