I wish I could punch you in the face.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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