I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
