all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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