ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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