Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize