I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
