i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
