That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
