Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
