Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize