and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
