btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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