She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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