so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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