But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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