the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize