hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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