Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
