toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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