Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
