you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
